monster
by Flaiche
Summary: Sometimes Jisoo sometimes wonders how he gets a girl as perfect as Heejung to fall in love with him. But he doesn't like thinking like that. (Jisoo x Heejung)


**A/N: I really didn't expect to love Jisoo. But I really do. (I apologize if I got him out of character. It was late at night, and I should have been studying...)**

**I will most likely write for Jieun next! Ah… This game consumed me. (I gotta finish my almost done GaiusxRobin oneshot too. Darn.)**

* * *

><p><strong>monster<strong>

This relationship was a game. A seemingly simple one.

So when the wizard provides me with a winning objective…

I instantly smirked.

I am handsome.

I am charming.

And I was confident.

All I had to do was make a sad girl fall in love with me, and my wish will come true.

The girl was just a stepping stone to a happier future.

For both Lily and I.

And when I first heard, it seemed extremely simple.

All I had to do was charm a girl, and make her fall head over heels for me.

I wouldn't have to involve myself with this world that much.

However, this game just… wasn't simple as it seemed.

I began to fall in love with the girl known as Heejung, who I originally had no plans of getting involved with on a personal level.

She was different from what I thought she would be like.

She wasn't exactly a pompous princess who lacked understanding of the world, nor was she a heartless person. Because honestly, she was more serious on the topic of reality than I was. She was… somewhat similar to the glass marble the small rabbit gave to her.

Easy to drop, easy to break. Yet, it will probably be the most enticing thing in your eyes when you find it.

It is sort of difficult to explain.

But all I know is, she tries to fix herself, and constantly says she is filled with flaws.

But, I think she is perfect.

Absolutely, Perfect.

My thoughts suddenly stop when I hear Heejung hum beside me. I listen to the scratching nose of her pencil to paper, then I look towards her face. She looks relaxed, happy.

She looks alive when she draws.

With a small smile, she closes her sketchpad, and glances towards me. I close my eyes quickly, hoping she didn't see my blunder. "Jisoo, are you awake yet?" Her silk-like voice chimes in my ear. I realize I can live just by listening to her voice all day. "I was awake for a few minutes now." I beam at her.

I bring my hand up to brush my fingers through her soft brown hair. I suddenly wished I spent every day with her like this. Heejung looks away, embarrassed by my action, and my grin grows. Even the simplest of notions from her are adorable.

She pouts before covering her face with her sketchpad. Her ears grow even redder I observe. "What did you draw today?" I ask as I push myself off the grass, fake yawning.

She giggles, and a smile forms on her face once again. I can't help but fall even more in love with her. "It's a secret." I freeze.

Being a cat, it is in my nature to be curious. "A secret?" My curiosity pokes at me, and I don't even try to hide it.

I want to know what she enjoys drawing.

I want to know why she likes drawing.

I want to know all about Heejung…

I silently shrug it off the thought. I learn something new about her every day. The fact that she is willing to talk to me about her problems should be good enough for me. Or is it?

Hah… I really don't understand myself sometimes.

"Well… okay then." I lay back down onto the grass without a word.

Heejung lowers the sketchbook from her face, her smiling face disappears. "Sorry Jisoo. It's a surprise for now." Her caramel colored eyes lock with my own. I begin to see the worry in her eyes, and I suddenly feel really bad.

"Hey, there is nothing to apologize about." I reassure her, because there really isn't a reason she should apologize to me.

Rather I think I should be apologizing.

The park was covered in leaves today. The sky was clear blue, and it was warm too. It was welcomed weather by both me and Heejung. Though, I can't hide the fact that this sort of weather made me feel apprehensive at times.

I breathe in the near-winter air with a growing frown.

I can't help but feel frustrated when I don't know what she is doing.

So when she eases herself down onto the floor next to me, I'm not quite sure what to do. I hadn't expected Heejung to lay down beside me. "It's a thank you gift Jisoo."And when her face is directly in front of mine, I find it surprising that in moments like these, she doesn't blush.

I reach for her face again, and pull back a loose piece of hair from her face.

"What are you thanking me for?" I ask, genuinely curious. A gentle smile makes its way to my face, as I begin to caress her cheek with my thumb. Her skin is as soft as the jelly she made last week.

A chuckle rumbles deep from my throat and I feel extremely happy now. It's strange what she does to me.

"For everything Jisoo. For you being next to me, for listening to me, I really am thankful for you being alive." And when she presses a chaste kiss to my lips I feel my cool exterior fade completely.

I feel like I'm in the clouds.

I squish her into a hug that I believe she well deserves. "Do you even know how much I love you Heejung?" She blinks once before her lips curve into a small smile, with her cheeks stained pink.

"I'm sure I have a rather vague idea of it." She replies, intertwining her hand with my own.

"Well, I can only hope you do." I kiss her on the nose. You make me go crazy. You know that Heejung?

"Now how about you and me go out to eat? My treat this time?" I propose. "Depends on what we are eating."

"Hm… how about you decide? It's not like I have very much options in restaurants anyway."

I pick myself off the grass, before pulling Heejung up towards me.

"Alright then. How about we try Thai food today? You have been mentioning lately how you wanted to try spicy food." I quickly intertwine our hands together, before we begin to walk towards the crowded shopping district.

The city was filled with a colorful assortment of bright lights. The bright light's seemed to dance in Heejung's eyes, and she glances around us. I can't help but notice the sparkle in her eye.

"Okay then, whatever makes you happy Heejung." She then she cutely laughs once again. "Aren't you the charmer today?"

* * *

><p>I blink.<p>

Somehow I find myself sitting on the couch, when I could've sworn I was just outside. I groan, rubbing my forehead with the palms of my hand.

My head feels like a whole blur. I swear, that is the first and last time I drink any type of liquor with her. And it's the last time I will let her go drink that crap.

"I'll be going out now!" Her voice resounds from kitchen, airy and surprisingly full of life. It's a tone too joyful for my taste.

My eyes subconsciously seem to follow her as she strolls around the house in a white sundress. **"Where are you going?!" **My throat feels constricted. Constricted with anger to be exact. I attempt to swallow down my rage to no avail. My head begins to feel like it is burning.

**Where is she going? **

**Who is she going with? **

**What is she going to do?**

Questions akin to those travel within my mind. Why doesn't tell me about these events earlier? Am I really that untrustworthy?

And why didn't she ask me out? Why would she go without me?

Does she not love…?

I quickly stop myself. That can't be possible.

**It just can't.**

"I'm going to the bookstore with Jiwoo." Her caramel colored eyes gaze towards mine. Her eyes are simply the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. They seem to sparkle as she talks to me. My lips curve into a smile. It's too bad they are not for me at this moment.

"**You aren't going anywhere Heejung." **I quickly pull her into a hug. She flinches I realize. **"You are mine." **And she should know it _well_.

"**Mine, mine, mine." **I whisper into her ear, stroking her hair lightly.

She screams for me to release her.

I refuse, gripping her wrists even tighter.

It feels like I have just broken a piece of glass on the spot. And somehow, it manages to be stabbed deep into my chest.

And when I scream as I awaken, it doesn't come out as a surprise to me.

I have been having dreams similar to that once or twice every week lately.

I clutch at my chest. I feel scared.

I'm so scratched up.

I think that I'm not worthy of her sometimes.

It's disturbing.

I push my bangs back, becoming eerily aware of how sweaty I had become.

"I'm so sorry Heejung." I repeat those four words over and over again in my head.

The 'glass' continues to feel like it is lodged deeper into my chest. Besides feeling like dying, I feel… anxious.

I really don't want to hurt Heejung.

And I don't mean to do so.

All I want is for her to only look at me and only me…

Does that make me a monster? I look down at my hands.

Am I in the wrong?

Is this what love is supposed to be all about?

Click.

My head instantly turns to the direction of the noise.

I decide to head to the Heejung's room when I hear a door lightly open. The door to her room was ajar and the light was on. It somehow worried me.

"Heejung?" I whisper, pushing the door.

As I entered the room, I saw her on the floor surrounded with drawings.

"Ah don't come in yet!" Her brown hair whips around as she attempts to hide her drawings on the floor. She shuffles around her room, grabbing the sketches with post haste. "What are you doing Heejung?" I attempt to stifle my laughter as I pick up one of her drawings. "Ah no!"

"Wait. Huh? Is this…?" Me? I freeze midsentence. I remember a while back, Heejung had told me she disliked drawing people… But?

I shake my head, focusing my eyes onto the drawn picture. The sketch done entirely in pencil and was very detailed. I would be an idiot if I hadn't realized it was me.

Those ears don't belong to anyone besides me. Mind you.

"Er, this was supposed to be a secret Valentine's gift for you." She scratches her head lightly, grasping a bundle of papers. Heejung taps her foot awkwardly onto the pink carpet.

It seems like her face turns a darker shade of red the more she twiddles her fingers. "Well… I've never actually drawn a person before." She walks a little bit closer towards me. I blink.

"So I wasn't sure you would like it. So…" I feel the glass is pulled out of my chest. It is replaced with something I'm not quite sure how to identify. "I drew you a bunch of times." But it feels warm.

"But, I suppose it is way too early for Valentine's Day. So, happy early merry Christmas I guess! Haha…" It reminds me of home in some way.

"Erm… you can ignore that. Just consider these a random gift from me to you Jisoo." She laughs warily before handing me the bundle of papers she attempted to hide previously. I take the bunch of papers from her, while nodding slowly, still a little confused.

I hadn't expected a gift from her.

And I hadn't expected anything handmade. Well… hand drawn in this case.

"What are you doing Jisoo? Why don't you look at it if you are so curious?" She encourages, with an expression that seems to betray her words. I'm sure that the amusement on my face is a good indication that she feels awkward. I nod, before glimpsing at the first few sketches.

They were all pictures of me, in my usual 'human' clothing. I open my mouth to say something, but I quickly close it. I can't find the right words for it.

"Why?" Is the only word my brain gives me, when I place the pictures on her table.

She looks surprised when I ask her. "What do you mean why?" Her eyes become gentle.

"Well… I just don't think I'm deserving of all this gifts you are giving me." I sigh.

That one sentence seemed to be a summary of this whole year for me.

When I hear her giggle, I'm startled. Her pink lips curve into a genuinely joyful smile, and I'm suddenly the one who is bewildered.

"I'm sure you aren't aware how loved you are either Jisoo." She places her hands on my face. She rubs my cheeks awkwardly, due to our height differences. "I love you too you know."

And when she goes on her tippy toes to place a kiss onto my lips I feel thankful for being alive for the first time in a while.

I pull her close, and embrace her. My hands wrap around her waist, and I rest my head on her shoulder.

"I really do love you Heejung. Be with me forever and forever." I whisper into her ear. "I won't let you choose no for an answer."

She chuckles, returning the hug. "Well aren't you territorial as usual."

"It's in my nature." I grip the fabric of her shirt.

I am a cat. Just a cat who can somehow turn into a human.

Sometimes I wonder if worthy of someone like her.

I might not be the best boyfriend in the world.

I might not be as perfect as her.

But I am not a monster.

I don't want to hurt her.

But I don't want anyone else looking at her besides myself.

I shake my head slowly.

I value her above myself.

And I don't want her to change.

So I will try not to be jealous. Although I do have my doubts.

I rub my thumbs against her back calmingly.

It will take time. But I know, we will be happily together for as long we possibly can.

And perhaps…

That's true love.


End file.
